Hi everyone!
I was glad to see some posts about chapters 4-6. I felt very connected to the idea of the pain-body. I feel like I have a lot of pain-body; however, I feel like I have accumulated most of it during my adult years. Tolle states, "Children in particular find strong negative emotions too overwhelming to cope with and tend to try not to feel them." This quote could explain why I don't feel like any of my pain-body occurred during my childhood. For the last 10 years, I have been trying to find out what I want to do with my life. Most of my adult life has been extremely wonderful, but I feel like I have been focusing on the negative--even if it is something small. Luckily, this book has changed the way that I think about life, about me, and about awareness. Almost two years ago, my friend passed away and I was very angry and devastated. After about a year, I felt like time had healed so much of that pain, but every once in a while that pain would seep out. Sometimes the pain would be unbearable and other times I felt like I forced the pain because I thought that was what I was supposed to feel. Now, I am still trying, and I mean I am trying, to clear my head. I am trying to become aware. I know that I cannot erase the pain-body that I have, but I can prevent more pain-body from entering into my body. I feel really silly for admitting this (so please forgive me in advance), but for some reason every time that I see my mom or anyone in my family, I feel like it is going to be the last time that I see them. It is so strange. I will write more about this topic, but I need to rest my eyes.
Hugs,
Erika
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3 comments:
Erika, I love that you shared this. I feel like we are learning so much and it's wonderful. The fact that you are aware of seeking awareness is all you need to do at this point. I love how you said you can prevent more pain-body from entering you. By simply being aware of that pain-body, we can prevent it from taking over and identifying ourselves with it. It's funny, I can't recall pain-body from my childhood, either. It is also something I began dealing with in my adult years. I think a lot of it is the stress I put on myself for where I should be in my life - the "role" I should be fulfilling as an adult.
Right. Exactly. I feel like I am not who my thoughts want me to be. I am not married, I don't have kids, I don't have a career, I live with Chris Kearns, etc. However, it just doesn't matter. Last night I had this very fulfilling dream. I was at a little house and I was very happy. The carpet was shaggy and brown. I was talking to Matt about all of the dreams that I had about him. He would laugh and tell me why I dreamed those dreams. He had an explanation for everything. In the dream, I started to wonder why I could see Matt so I told him that he died a couple years ago. He asked me how and I told him. He said that he was on a mission that night to get wasted. I reminded him that he saw me that night but he couldn't remember seeing me. I explained everything. I told him that his parents and Brady were devastated and things were never going to be the same. He felt bad, but deep down he was just so happy. He was wearing white. He had a great big smile on his face. Despite all of the drama that I filled his head with, he was aware. When I woke up, I felt inspired. This is just one more step towards focusing on the things that really matter. Love. Life. Family. Friends. Animals. The Earth.
Love you Kimmy,
E
Erika, I am commenting weeks later lol. I love that we had this blog when we read Eckhart Tolle. It helps me to come back and read. I love the beautiful dream story about Matt.
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